Pity Party

Today I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I can't help it. I've been trying really hard not to, but I've had two bad interviews in a row on top of receiving emails about jobs I didn't get.

I get that life doesn't always go the way you want it. I really do. Believe me. There is so much that's not going the way I planned it right now. One of the biggest is being unemployed.

I was terminated from employment by a supervisor who hadn't liked me from the start. We never meshed and I can't tell you why. I worked well with just about everyone else I've ever worked for, but this supervisor and I never worked well together. It's a question I asked myself many times over the course of our working relationship. But he decided that it was time for me to go and so I'm gone.

Unemployed for the first time in my life against my will.

I have never been unemployed for this long, never had this much trouble finding a job. I have tons of experience in a variety of areas. I'm willing to take a lesser job in order to move up in the world.

Whoever hires me is going to get a dedicated and hard working employee. I loved my last job. Loved it. I was a trainer at a credit union. I want to be a trainer again. I can't even get an interview for a training job. I can't tell you how frustrating that is for me.

So today I'm having a pity party. I came home from my interview, sat down and cried.

I'm still feeling the need to cry.

I know I am very blessed that through all of this we still have the roof over our heads and are planning a vacation for Logan's birthday. I know that I can put food on the table for my kids and not worry about it. But these things can't last forever and I'm really wondering how long I'm going to be out of work.

So my pity party day is today. I'm sure I'll have another cry session before the day is out and then I'll feel better. I'll wake up tomorrow and be more positive. But not today.

Today is a pity party.