Friday, May 25, 2012

Oh wait, I have a blog?

It's been a while.

I've really been thinking about the direction I want this blog to go. Do I want this to be about my parenting highs and lows? Do I want this to be completely random? Do I focus on Disney or sports or ...?

What I'm trying to do is to figure out what will inspire me to keep this going. As you can see, I haven't figured it out yet. If I had, I wouldn't have waited over a year to blog again.

So I'm still working on it.

- The Big Blue Momma

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Dance, karate, and soccer

I've always felt it's important to expose your children to all opportunities possible. I have found that two working parents with non flexible schedules make it hard to do everything you want to do. As L gets older, more sport and other activity fliers come home from school. Of course, he wants to do them all. That's just not possible, even if I didn't work. But I do work outside the home and the time of many activities is just not user friendly in my household.

So we try and find a good balance. L did karate over the summer and has already advanced to the rank of yellow belt. We committed to another year and it's been really good for him. His physical therapist even commented on how that was the best sport for his balance issues. He wanted to join cub scouts, but it meets at the same time as one of the few classes he can go to for karate. If my schedule were more flexible, it would be a whole different issue. But I don't anymore and so cub scouts will have to wait until he can move up another belt level and switch classes. He also wants to play soccer. We've participated in a league through our church that meets only on Fridays, but by the time I get off work, get both kids and drive across town it will have started and there would be no time for dinner. BBD's schedule changes weekly with no way to make plans to do things like this.

I type this at K's first dance class. It wasn't fair to let L have all the fun. She's having a blast, but the cuts out the ability to get L to the Saturday morning karate class and this will hopefully still allow for basketball in the winter.

It's so hard to tell your kid that they can't do something because you work. Not because of any other reason.

Man I miss the flexibility I had before.

- The Big Blue Momma

Sunday, June 19, 2011

All about L

I've said before I would tell his story.

My boy has something wrong with him. You can see it when he walks, when he runs, when he sits. He often tires easily and I watch over him more than I should at this age.

He is patient of Shriners for curvature of his legs and potential scoliosis.

He's a patient of the local pediatric neurologist because unexplainable complete left sided weakness.

I saw the problem early on, he sat up on schedule but not "right". Something was off. My great and wonderful pediatrician, Dr. Beth, noticed it too. So she sent us a referral to First Steps, the state's early intervention program. He qualified for occupational therapy but not physical therapy, but we were told the OT would recommend PT and sure enough within 3 visits we were getting an PT consult. Through therapy he started self feeding and walking and gaining strength.

Then he turned 3 and aged out of the program.

We've been fighting for something for him ever since. See we have no official diagnosis. No one can explain why he has this weakness. No diagnosis = no treatment according to all that control those things.

So we've sought things out on our own. Some things work, some don't. Current things to help him with balance include karate and swimming. The karate master has been great at building his confidence and working with him.

We may never ever receive an official diagnosis and he may eventually get to the point where you can't tell, you can't see that foot turn in.

But until then, we will continue to look for ways to help him, even when the healthcare system doesn't seem to know how.

- The Big Blue Momma

Saturday, May 28, 2011

"Normal" behavior?

K just turned 3. She is a fun loving little girl who plays with baby dolls. She thinks Hello Kitty and Dora make the world go round. She will grab your face to give you a kiss and always greets you in the morning with a big hug.

But, at times, the sweetness fades. My little girl gets angry and violent. She can hit, pinch, kick, and bite. Once she calms down she apologizes and cries and feels bad, but randomly this behavior returns. Sometimes she's jealous and sometimes she's super tired. Whatever it is it keeps her from controlling those actions and she lashes out.

These instances are not common. They don't happen everyday. They don't even happen every week. They sometimes happen on clusters, like when she decided to get rid of her pacifier the same time we moved her to a big girl bed. There is no set pattern.

Recently this behavior caused the mother of her BFF to decide that K was too aggressive and that coming to her birthday party was not a good idea. That the girls needed to be separated. I'm struggling with this as I know K is not the only party in this relationship that has inflected injury on the other. They are 3 year olds. (I'm also upset because this info was sent to me in a text message, by someone who was supposed to be my friend, but that's another story)

Today was a recipe for bad behavior. She woke up early and had no nap. While out to dinner with a friend, K got mad because I wouldn't take her to the boys bathroom. This ended with her smacking me in the face as I carried her screaming out of the restaurant. As we continued to the car, she pulled my hair and tried to pinch me. I held her close and got her in the car as quickly as I could. She screamed herself to sleep in the car.

When we got home, she woke up and refused to apologize. We read Hands are Not for Hitting and talked until she apologized. As we have done before, we talk about what else to do when she gets upset. She was calmed down and wanted to cuddle, so I put her pjs on her and we watched a little TV before she went, kicking and screaming again, to bed.

I do everything possible to avoid creating the situation that happened today. Sometimes it seems unavoidable. I'm at the end of my rope. I'm afraid that more friends are going to withdraw from doing things with us. Right now I just want some reassurance that this is normal. I even discussed it with her pediatrician at her well check-up. Her reassurance isn't helping much right now.

Please tell me you've been there, done that and that it gets better.

- The Big Blue Momma

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Meeting your insurance deductible in April is not a good thing

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know that this hasn't been the best year for me personally, health wise. January 1st I began having lower back pain. By Monday, I couldn't sit up. I had my first kidney stone. Not just any stone, a big trapped stone. One that didn't leave after the first procedure. Two procedures later and there are still stone fragments in my body. I was also injured but the medical staff at the hospital during the first procedure. I'm still in PT for my hip flexor strain/tear.

I met half the family deductible all by myself. In January. Go me.

Thursday night was my 10th wedding anniversary. We didn't have a sitter as all our usual ones were either vacationing for Spring Break or ill, so we took the kids with us out to dinner and for some fro yo. Little did I know the excitement that was to come.

BBD had been sick earlier in the week. When we came home from dinner, he took the prescribed antibiotic. Within minutes he began having discomfort in his chest, he was comparing it to severe heartburn. After about 20 mins, the pain was so bad he asked me to take him to the ER. (It should be noted that BBD, like most males, hates going to the doctor, taking drugs, etc. I knew he must have been miserable to ask to go to the ER.)

So I call a friend, throw some pjs in a bag for K, and we leave.

At the hospital, I check BBD in. Because I wrote down chest pains, he was taken back right away and hooked up to an EKG machine. Within minutes, the admitting nurse and an entire crew of people come rushing in. The nurse looks at me and tells me that there is something going on with his heart. The attending physician comes in and says his EKG was telling them that something was going on, maybe a heart attack, maybe something else. They brought in a second EKG machine and decided that a heart cath would be necessary to determine what was going on. BBD was rushed in for an emergency heart cath at about 9:00pm that night. From the heart cath we learned that he did not have a heart attack, but he had pericarditis or inflammation of the heart muscle probably from the infection he had earlier in the week.

So we spent our anniversary night in the hospital, listening to the sound of heart monitors and IV machines.

And meeting our insurance deductible. In April.

I would like to thank our friends to took our kids no questions asked that night. I would also like to thank the ER staff that acted quickly on BBD's behalf. While I was less than please with the quality of care received once we were admitted, we were discharged fairly quickly, for which I am also thankful.

-Big Blue Momma

Monday, April 4, 2011

Mr. Smarty Pants

We had L's parent-teacher conference last week. As a parent who is new to this whole gig, I still don't know what to expect at these things. We know that L is pretty good at this whole school thing but his behavior has been an issue in the past. I'm always worried of more of that type of talk.

This conference brought us facing a new decision. His teacher feels that he is very gifted academically and wants us to consider him for the gifted and talented program.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

On one hand, he still complains of boredom at times. This would give him an opportunity to explore new things and continue to grow. On the other hand, he's in kindergarten. If we complete the application now, he would be enrolled at the start of first grade.

I'm concerned that it might be too early to start this. Am I being silly? Overprotective?

This is such a hard decision.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Why I am a bad blogger

I stink at this blogging thing.


I write posts in my head all the time. Constantly. The problem I have is actually putting those thoughts and feelings and whatnot out there for the world to read. Maybe I'm a big chicken. Maybe it's because by the time my laptop decides to work, I'm passed out. Maybe it's... I don't know what it is.

I made several claims to "recommit" to blogging. I have really good intentions, but never follow through. I really don't have an explaination for it.

I'm also really bad about reading blogs on my phone, and sometimes that makes it impossible to comment. So people don't know that I love them or their writing or their blogs.

See, I stink at the blogging thing.

I have to get better. I need to get better at this for myself. Hopefully, accepting that I stink at this will spearhead a renewal to my blog. Admitting is the first step, right?