Monday, December 28, 2009

The Big Blue Family's Christmas

Christmas around here is never dull and this year was no exception.

Christmas Eve (all the following events take place in Louisville and without Big Blue Daddy unless otherwise noted):
Stop #1: Went to visit a friend and her new baby. Logan managed to get dirty while we were there and still had more stops to make. Didn't bring different clothes for the four year old. Stupid me. Baby was way too cute and almost (I said ALMOST) made me want another.

Stop #2: My Dad and Stepmom's so that we didn't get lost going to the next stop. Dad managed to clean Logan up enough to be presentable. Kaelin screamed around their pets, as usual. (That's a whole other post) Waited for Stepmom to finish cooking soup to take to next stop. Loaded kids back in car and took my younger sister with me.

Stop #3: Dad's family Christmas. We eat and leave. Headache begins to develop. Couldn't stay for presents because we had to move on before the kids melted. Starts to rain as soon as we get in the car. Kaelin spits out paci in the dark, gravel driveway and I drop my keys trying to find paci.

Stop #4: My mother's to pay homage to my aunt who only visits once every 2-3 years and doesn't stay in contact with most of us on a regular basis. Logan and Kaelin have fun playing with my cousin's kids and it's good to see all my cousins who live far away. Reminded that I need to connect with them more often. Only one cousin and her family were missing and she's the one who is always missing. Kaelin again spits out paci in the dark. Maybe it's a sign? Too busy to think much more about that. Headache meds work just before I start to leave.

Stop #5: HOME! Kids see Daddy and have a surge of energy. Give kids their Christmas pajamas and put them to bed. Get French Toast Casserole ready for AM. Begin sorting and wrapping presents. Logan having another night terror, screaming and can't wake him up. Worried Big Blue Daddy(BBD) and I are going to be caught with Santa gifts all around us. Finally calm Logan down, finish the gifts and go to bed about 3am.

Christmas Day (AT HOME!!!)
Kids wake up about 8am. Big deal for both. Logan normally wakes about 7am and Kaelin normally sleeps in until 9am. They must have planned this. we keep kids occupied until 9am when my sister and her fiance show up. Throw casserole into oven. Dad, Stepmom, Grandma, and youngest sister arrive for presents. Kids get way too much and are overwhelmed. Take a break to eat breakfast. Give kids big present from us; the trip to Disney. Didn't quite get the response I was expecting, but thinking they are just overwhelmed with everything.

Put pork in Crock Pot for BBQ later (Yes, I know this isn't traditional, but it's what BBD and I decided. We wanted simple and easy.)

Mom calls and says she's on her way. Dad and crew leave. Sister and Fiance head to birthday party for Jesus with his family.

Mom, Stepdad, and brother arrive. We do presents and brother splits, which is typical. Mom and stepdad hang around and eat with us and then leave.

BBD, kids and I spend the rest of the day unpacking boxes, playing and relaxing. BBD worked all weekend and kids and I unearth the living room floor.

You might think that the celebrating is over but we still have to visit BBD's family as they didn't travel to visit us. Probably more on that later.

All in all it's been a crazy but great Christmas so far. I got a Flip and I love it! BBD got Call of Duty for his XBox 360. Logan got his Fathead for his room and Kaelin has a stroller for her dolls she tries to ride in herself. I'm blessed to have family and friends to share all this craziness with.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Pity Party

Today I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I can't help it. I've been trying really hard not to, but I've had two bad interviews in a row on top of receiving emails about jobs I didn't get.

I get that life doesn't always go the way you want it. I really do. Believe me. There is so much that's not going the way I planned it right now. One of the biggest is being unemployed.

I was terminated from employment by a supervisor who hadn't liked me from the start. We never meshed and I can't tell you why. I worked well with just about everyone else I've ever worked for, but this supervisor and I never worked well together. It's a question I asked myself many times over the course of our working relationship. But he decided that it was time for me to go and so I'm gone.

Unemployed for the first time in my life against my will.

I have never been unemployed for this long, never had this much trouble finding a job. I have tons of experience in a variety of areas. I'm willing to take a lesser job in order to move up in the world.

Whoever hires me is going to get a dedicated and hard working employee. I loved my last job. Loved it. I was a trainer at a credit union. I want to be a trainer again. I can't even get an interview for a training job. I can't tell you how frustrating that is for me.

So today I'm having a pity party. I came home from my interview, sat down and cried.

I'm still feeling the need to cry.

I know I am very blessed that through all of this we still have the roof over our heads and are planning a vacation for Logan's birthday. I know that I can put food on the table for my kids and not worry about it. But these things can't last forever and I'm really wondering how long I'm going to be out of work.

So my pity party day is today. I'm sure I'll have another cry session before the day is out and then I'll feel better. I'll wake up tomorrow and be more positive. But not today.

Today is a pity party.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Can't we all just get along?

Today Twitter is all abuzz over the death of a 2 year old little boy. Now, to be fair, I haven't read too many of the negative comments directed at the mother of this boy, but I can imagine what they say. For some reason, us mothers forget that we need to support one another. Now is not the time to discuss what safety measures you think should have been in place to prevent this tragedy. Now is not the time to attack a woman for seeking out comfort from the community of friends she has created on Twitter. Now is not the time to be contacting news agencies to find out if the story is true. Now is the time for support.

I am proud to be a part of a great group of women who came together on a popular baby site and chose to leave and create our own community. We aren't all as active as we were when our babies we little, but we have learned over the last 5+ years is to help through the bad times and cheer for the good ones. We don't seek out information to verify a mommy's pain or grief. We take each at our word. That's not to say we haven't been burned for trusting a mommy who used us. We have. At our old stomping ground, we had stories of babies with cancer, abusive husbands and wives of hockey players which all turned out to be false. Even though I've been burned (and yes, I have) I still choose to support the mother.

And I always will. Because I know that, if I were in the same position, those same mommies would be supporting me.

To all of you mommies out there, I support you. Whether you are struggling or not, I support you. Whether we agree on parenting styles or not, I support you.

I support you!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Momma is sick

I had been feeling nauseous on and off for about a week when I developed this pressure in my lower abdomen.

All I could think is that I was pregnant. But that's not possible because I spent many dollars on my IUD. It's supposed to keep the babies away for many years or until I decide to have it removed.

Then the sore boobs started. Of course, this is a symptom of the IUD that I have had before. But again, I'm convincing myself that I'm pregnant and about to sue someone's ass.

So I take a test. Negative.

Waited a few days, still feeling bad. Take another test. Negative again.

So yesterday, after much nagging from my husband, I go to the doctor. He thinks I've lost my mind.

So does my doctor, who humors me and orders a blood test. For herself she orders a urine culture.

I begin to feel worse and worse. Like rapidly.

Doctor's office calls. NO BABY! But a raging bladder infection and a cold.

I am not a good patient when hit with multiple aliments. One at a time I can handle. But I had let the infection go for so long, that I was now in severe pain in my abdomen and my body had been so busy fighting one infection it can't fight the cold. I'm whiny and miserable.

My husband is a great caretaker. This stems from when we were dating and I got so sick my Dad ended up taking me to the ER. Big Blue Daddy got a huge lecture from my stepmother about the importance of taking care of me. Now he goes into overdrive and indulges me whenever I am sick. I love it! Logan also pitches in as he got used to helping me out when I was pregnant with Kaelin. The two boys in my life make me feel so loved and cared for, I am truly blessed.

Now if my husband or my kids had been sick, I would have made them go to the doctor much sooner. I'm mean like that. But, for some unknown reason, I have failed to hold the same standards to myself. It's like I think my body can heal itself with my super powers or something. This time I've learned my lesson. My body needs the same care as the other members of my family.

Of course, I'll forget this when I get sick again.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Christmas Lists by Logan

Logan, my 4 year old, and I sat down the other day to write his Christmas list. His list includes:
  • Fathead (Saints, UK, Pens, Batman) - This is what he's asked Santa for
  • Helicopter w/ remote control
  • Bumblebee Robot
  • Imaginext Space Ship and guys to go with it
  • Wii games (Wii Music, Toy Story Mania, Wii Sports Resort)
  • Bakugan
  • Imaginext Batcave Accessories
  • Mickey Mouse Bowling Set
He also decided that he could write a list for Kaelin, his 18 month old sister. Her list includes:
  • New baby doll
  • Crib for her dolls
  • Stroller
  • Kitchen
  • Play food
  • dress up clothes
  • mixer
  • shopping cart
  • iron and ironing board
I have to say that this is a pretty good list for Kaelin, I was impressed.

Then we got to Mommy and Daddy. Again he wanted to make a list for us. Daddy's list looks like this:
  • Handsome bedroom
  • new XBox 360 games
My list looks like:
  • Hugs and kisses
  • pretty bedroom
  • new iron
So apparently, Logan has decided that my bedroom (and hubby's) needs some work. He told me while we were working on this that our bedroom was "boring" and Daddy's half could be handsome and my half could be pretty.

Hopefully Santa will bring me an interior decorator, some bedroom furniture, and money to cover it all.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

OMG, I'm blogging again!

I used to blog on MySpace back in the day. Due to things I really am not ready to get into yet, I stopped. I really didn't want to stop, but I did. It left a bad taste in my mouth for blogging.

Now, years later and wiser, I'm blogging again.

Why? I'm not really sure. I feel the need to type, I guess. Being unemployed might be bringing that side of me out. Who knows? I just know that I have once again decided to enter the world of blogging.

Hopefully I won't bore you to tears.