"Normal" behavior?

K just turned 3. She is a fun loving little girl who plays with baby dolls. She thinks Hello Kitty and Dora make the world go round. She will grab your face to give you a kiss and always greets you in the morning with a big hug.

But, at times, the sweetness fades. My little girl gets angry and violent. She can hit, pinch, kick, and bite. Once she calms down she apologizes and cries and feels bad, but randomly this behavior returns. Sometimes she's jealous and sometimes she's super tired. Whatever it is it keeps her from controlling those actions and she lashes out.

These instances are not common. They don't happen everyday. They don't even happen every week. They sometimes happen on clusters, like when she decided to get rid of her pacifier the same time we moved her to a big girl bed. There is no set pattern.

Recently this behavior caused the mother of her BFF to decide that K was too aggressive and that coming to her birthday party was not a good idea. That the girls needed to be separated. I'm struggling with this as I know K is not the only party in this relationship that has inflected injury on the other. They are 3 year olds. (I'm also upset because this info was sent to me in a text message, by someone who was supposed to be my friend, but that's another story)

Today was a recipe for bad behavior. She woke up early and had no nap. While out to dinner with a friend, K got mad because I wouldn't take her to the boys bathroom. This ended with her smacking me in the face as I carried her screaming out of the restaurant. As we continued to the car, she pulled my hair and tried to pinch me. I held her close and got her in the car as quickly as I could. She screamed herself to sleep in the car.

When we got home, she woke up and refused to apologize. We read Hands are Not for Hitting and talked until she apologized. As we have done before, we talk about what else to do when she gets upset. She was calmed down and wanted to cuddle, so I put her pjs on her and we watched a little TV before she went, kicking and screaming again, to bed.

I do everything possible to avoid creating the situation that happened today. Sometimes it seems unavoidable. I'm at the end of my rope. I'm afraid that more friends are going to withdraw from doing things with us. Right now I just want some reassurance that this is normal. I even discussed it with her pediatrician at her well check-up. Her reassurance isn't helping much right now.

Please tell me you've been there, done that and that it gets better.


- The Big Blue Momma

Meeting your insurance deductible in April is not a good thing

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know that this hasn't been the best year for me personally, health wise. January 1st I began having lower back pain. By Monday, I couldn't sit up. I had my first kidney stone. Not just any stone, a big trapped stone. One that didn't leave after the first procedure. Two procedures later and there are still stone fragments in my body. I was also injured but the medical staff at the hospital during the first procedure. I'm still in PT for my hip flexor strain/tear.

I met half the family deductible all by myself. In January. Go me.

Thursday night was my 10th wedding anniversary. We didn't have a sitter as all our usual ones were either vacationing for Spring Break or ill, so we took the kids with us out to dinner and for some fro yo. Little did I know the excitement that was to come.

BBD had been sick earlier in the week. When we came home from dinner, he took the prescribed antibiotic. Within minutes he began having discomfort in his chest, he was comparing it to severe heartburn. After about 20 mins, the pain was so bad he asked me to take him to the ER. (It should be noted that BBD, like most males, hates going to the doctor, taking drugs, etc. I knew he must have been miserable to ask to go to the ER.)

So I call a friend, throw some pjs in a bag for K, and we leave.

At the hospital, I check BBD in. Because I wrote down chest pains, he was taken back right away and hooked up to an EKG machine. Within minutes, the admitting nurse and an entire crew of people come rushing in. The nurse looks at me and tells me that there is something going on with his heart. The attending physician comes in and says his EKG was telling them that something was going on, maybe a heart attack, maybe something else. They brought in a second EKG machine and decided that a heart cath would be necessary to determine what was going on. BBD was rushed in for an emergency heart cath at about 9:00pm that night. From the heart cath we learned that he did not have a heart attack, but he had pericarditis or inflammation of the heart muscle probably from the infection he had earlier in the week.

So we spent our anniversary night in the hospital, listening to the sound of heart monitors and IV machines.

And meeting our insurance deductible. In April.


I would like to thank our friends to took our kids no questions asked that night. I would also like to thank the ER staff that acted quickly on BBD's behalf. While I was less than please with the quality of care received once we were admitted, we were discharged fairly quickly, for which I am also thankful.


-Big Blue Momma

Mr. Smarty Pants

We had L's parent-teacher conference last week. As a parent who is new to this whole gig, I still don't know what to expect at these things. We know that L is pretty good at this whole school thing but his behavior has been an issue in the past. I'm always worried of more of that type of talk.

This conference brought us facing a new decision. His teacher feels that he is very gifted academically and wants us to consider him for the gifted and talented program.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

On one hand, he still complains of boredom at times. This would give him an opportunity to explore new things and continue to grow. On the other hand, he's in kindergarten. If we complete the application now, he would be enrolled at the start of first grade.

I'm concerned that it might be too early to start this. Am I being silly? Overprotective?

This is such a hard decision.

Why I am a bad blogger

I stink at this blogging thing.

STINK!

I write posts in my head all the time. Constantly. The problem I have is actually putting those thoughts and feelings and whatnot out there for the world to read. Maybe I'm a big chicken. Maybe it's because by the time my laptop decides to work, I'm passed out. Maybe it's... I don't know what it is.

I made several claims to "recommit" to blogging. I have really good intentions, but never follow through. I really don't have an explaination for it.

I'm also really bad about reading blogs on my phone, and sometimes that makes it impossible to comment. So people don't know that I love them or their writing or their blogs.

See, I stink at the blogging thing.

I have to get better. I need to get better at this for myself. Hopefully, accepting that I stink at this will spearhead a renewal to my blog. Admitting is the first step, right?

Thankful

This year I have many things to be thankful for:

My new(ish) job. I know it's not the right fit for me, but after being unemployed for the longest unwanted period of my life, I am thankful to have one in this economy. I also have faith that the right gig is out there, just waiting for me to find it.

My kids. They may drive me batty and act like heathens, but they are mine. For the most part, they are healthy and happy.

My marriage. Last year at this point we were in a very bad place, but we've seemed to make a turn around. I've very thankful for a husband who didn't give up on me when he probably should have.

My family who helps me out even though none of them live near me.

Health insurance. Who isn't thankful for that?

This video (Total blackmail footage starring L):

Boots. Every girl needs a pair of boots. Me? I could use a few more pairs as I am wearing my others out.

To all who might read my blog, Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Sore losers should be ashamed of themselves

I listen to ESPN Radio probably more than I should. I'm a sports geek like that. Today I was listening to Colin Cowherd. I'm not really a big fan of his, especially after his moronic statements about former UK star/current Wizards player John Wall, but this story he told got my attention.

This story about an 8 year old and his dad going to a football game, the boy's first, and the treatment he received after leaving the stadium.

See this boy was a fan of the winning team, which happened to be the visitor that day. Because this boy and his dad were fans of the winning team, the visitor, they were treated like crap. Obscenities were yelled, food was thrown and a little boy was hurt.

At his very first NFL game.

Those fans that did those horrible things are an embarrassment to fans everywhere. That is not the kind of person I want to be compared to as a sports fan. I think of myself as pretty passionate. After all, I am a UK fan, we aren't used to losing. I'm not naive in thinking that UK fans are sweet in a loss. I'm sure there are some that drink too much and can become complete a-holes. But causing injury to a little boy is a whole separate class of lowlife.

No one likes a sore loser. Those fans that chose to tackle a little boy? Sorest losers of them all. Be ashamed, Cleveland. Be very ashamed.

Jumping on the bandwagon a bit late....

... but here goes.

30 days of truth

I don't know if I can get through it all, but I'm willing to try.

So brace yourselves. Tomorrow it begins.