Dance, karate, and soccer

I've always felt it's important to expose your children to all opportunities possible. I have found that two working parents with non flexible schedules make it hard to do everything you want to do. As L gets older, more sport and other activity fliers come home from school. Of course, he wants to do them all. That's just not possible, even if I didn't work. But I do work outside the home and the time of many activities is just not user friendly in my household.

So we try and find a good balance. L did karate over the summer and has already advanced to the rank of yellow belt. We committed to another year and it's been really good for him. His physical therapist even commented on how that was the best sport for his balance issues. He wanted to join cub scouts, but it meets at the same time as one of the few classes he can go to for karate. If my schedule were more flexible, it would be a whole different issue. But I don't anymore and so cub scouts will have to wait until he can move up another belt level and switch classes. He also wants to play soccer. We've participated in a league through our church that meets only on Fridays, but by the time I get off work, get both kids and drive across town it will have started and there would be no time for dinner. BBD's schedule changes weekly with no way to make plans to do things like this.

I type this at K's first dance class. It wasn't fair to let L have all the fun. She's having a blast, but the cuts out the ability to get L to the Saturday morning karate class and this will hopefully still allow for basketball in the winter.

It's so hard to tell your kid that they can't do something because you work. Not because of any other reason.

Man I miss the flexibility I had before.


- The Big Blue Momma

All about L

I've said before I would tell his story.

My boy has something wrong with him. You can see it when he walks, when he runs, when he sits. He often tires easily and I watch over him more than I should at this age.

He is patient of Shriners for curvature of his legs and potential scoliosis.

He's a patient of the local pediatric neurologist because unexplainable complete left sided weakness.

I saw the problem early on, he sat up on schedule but not "right". Something was off. My great and wonderful pediatrician, Dr. Beth, noticed it too. So she sent us a referral to First Steps, the state's early intervention program. He qualified for occupational therapy but not physical therapy, but we were told the OT would recommend PT and sure enough within 3 visits we were getting an PT consult. Through therapy he started self feeding and walking and gaining strength.

Then he turned 3 and aged out of the program.

We've been fighting for something for him ever since. See we have no official diagnosis. No one can explain why he has this weakness. No diagnosis = no treatment according to all that control those things.

So we've sought things out on our own. Some things work, some don't. Current things to help him with balance include karate and swimming. The karate master has been great at building his confidence and working with him.

We may never ever receive an official diagnosis and he may eventually get to the point where you can't tell, you can't see that foot turn in.

But until then, we will continue to look for ways to help him, even when the healthcare system doesn't seem to know how.


- The Big Blue Momma

"Normal" behavior?

K just turned 3. She is a fun loving little girl who plays with baby dolls. She thinks Hello Kitty and Dora make the world go round. She will grab your face to give you a kiss and always greets you in the morning with a big hug.

But, at times, the sweetness fades. My little girl gets angry and violent. She can hit, pinch, kick, and bite. Once she calms down she apologizes and cries and feels bad, but randomly this behavior returns. Sometimes she's jealous and sometimes she's super tired. Whatever it is it keeps her from controlling those actions and she lashes out.

These instances are not common. They don't happen everyday. They don't even happen every week. They sometimes happen on clusters, like when she decided to get rid of her pacifier the same time we moved her to a big girl bed. There is no set pattern.

Recently this behavior caused the mother of her BFF to decide that K was too aggressive and that coming to her birthday party was not a good idea. That the girls needed to be separated. I'm struggling with this as I know K is not the only party in this relationship that has inflected injury on the other. They are 3 year olds. (I'm also upset because this info was sent to me in a text message, by someone who was supposed to be my friend, but that's another story)

Today was a recipe for bad behavior. She woke up early and had no nap. While out to dinner with a friend, K got mad because I wouldn't take her to the boys bathroom. This ended with her smacking me in the face as I carried her screaming out of the restaurant. As we continued to the car, she pulled my hair and tried to pinch me. I held her close and got her in the car as quickly as I could. She screamed herself to sleep in the car.

When we got home, she woke up and refused to apologize. We read Hands are Not for Hitting and talked until she apologized. As we have done before, we talk about what else to do when she gets upset. She was calmed down and wanted to cuddle, so I put her pjs on her and we watched a little TV before she went, kicking and screaming again, to bed.

I do everything possible to avoid creating the situation that happened today. Sometimes it seems unavoidable. I'm at the end of my rope. I'm afraid that more friends are going to withdraw from doing things with us. Right now I just want some reassurance that this is normal. I even discussed it with her pediatrician at her well check-up. Her reassurance isn't helping much right now.

Please tell me you've been there, done that and that it gets better.


- The Big Blue Momma

Mr. Smarty Pants

We had L's parent-teacher conference last week. As a parent who is new to this whole gig, I still don't know what to expect at these things. We know that L is pretty good at this whole school thing but his behavior has been an issue in the past. I'm always worried of more of that type of talk.

This conference brought us facing a new decision. His teacher feels that he is very gifted academically and wants us to consider him for the gifted and talented program.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

On one hand, he still complains of boredom at times. This would give him an opportunity to explore new things and continue to grow. On the other hand, he's in kindergarten. If we complete the application now, he would be enrolled at the start of first grade.

I'm concerned that it might be too early to start this. Am I being silly? Overprotective?

This is such a hard decision.

Thankful

This year I have many things to be thankful for:

My new(ish) job. I know it's not the right fit for me, but after being unemployed for the longest unwanted period of my life, I am thankful to have one in this economy. I also have faith that the right gig is out there, just waiting for me to find it.

My kids. They may drive me batty and act like heathens, but they are mine. For the most part, they are healthy and happy.

My marriage. Last year at this point we were in a very bad place, but we've seemed to make a turn around. I've very thankful for a husband who didn't give up on me when he probably should have.

My family who helps me out even though none of them live near me.

Health insurance. Who isn't thankful for that?

This video (Total blackmail footage starring L):

Boots. Every girl needs a pair of boots. Me? I could use a few more pairs as I am wearing my others out.

To all who might read my blog, Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.