Dance, karate, and soccer

I've always felt it's important to expose your children to all opportunities possible. I have found that two working parents with non flexible schedules make it hard to do everything you want to do. As L gets older, more sport and other activity fliers come home from school. Of course, he wants to do them all. That's just not possible, even if I didn't work. But I do work outside the home and the time of many activities is just not user friendly in my household.

So we try and find a good balance. L did karate over the summer and has already advanced to the rank of yellow belt. We committed to another year and it's been really good for him. His physical therapist even commented on how that was the best sport for his balance issues. He wanted to join cub scouts, but it meets at the same time as one of the few classes he can go to for karate. If my schedule were more flexible, it would be a whole different issue. But I don't anymore and so cub scouts will have to wait until he can move up another belt level and switch classes. He also wants to play soccer. We've participated in a league through our church that meets only on Fridays, but by the time I get off work, get both kids and drive across town it will have started and there would be no time for dinner. BBD's schedule changes weekly with no way to make plans to do things like this.

I type this at K's first dance class. It wasn't fair to let L have all the fun. She's having a blast, but the cuts out the ability to get L to the Saturday morning karate class and this will hopefully still allow for basketball in the winter.

It's so hard to tell your kid that they can't do something because you work. Not because of any other reason.

Man I miss the flexibility I had before.


- The Big Blue Momma

"Normal" behavior?

K just turned 3. She is a fun loving little girl who plays with baby dolls. She thinks Hello Kitty and Dora make the world go round. She will grab your face to give you a kiss and always greets you in the morning with a big hug.

But, at times, the sweetness fades. My little girl gets angry and violent. She can hit, pinch, kick, and bite. Once she calms down she apologizes and cries and feels bad, but randomly this behavior returns. Sometimes she's jealous and sometimes she's super tired. Whatever it is it keeps her from controlling those actions and she lashes out.

These instances are not common. They don't happen everyday. They don't even happen every week. They sometimes happen on clusters, like when she decided to get rid of her pacifier the same time we moved her to a big girl bed. There is no set pattern.

Recently this behavior caused the mother of her BFF to decide that K was too aggressive and that coming to her birthday party was not a good idea. That the girls needed to be separated. I'm struggling with this as I know K is not the only party in this relationship that has inflected injury on the other. They are 3 year olds. (I'm also upset because this info was sent to me in a text message, by someone who was supposed to be my friend, but that's another story)

Today was a recipe for bad behavior. She woke up early and had no nap. While out to dinner with a friend, K got mad because I wouldn't take her to the boys bathroom. This ended with her smacking me in the face as I carried her screaming out of the restaurant. As we continued to the car, she pulled my hair and tried to pinch me. I held her close and got her in the car as quickly as I could. She screamed herself to sleep in the car.

When we got home, she woke up and refused to apologize. We read Hands are Not for Hitting and talked until she apologized. As we have done before, we talk about what else to do when she gets upset. She was calmed down and wanted to cuddle, so I put her pjs on her and we watched a little TV before she went, kicking and screaming again, to bed.

I do everything possible to avoid creating the situation that happened today. Sometimes it seems unavoidable. I'm at the end of my rope. I'm afraid that more friends are going to withdraw from doing things with us. Right now I just want some reassurance that this is normal. I even discussed it with her pediatrician at her well check-up. Her reassurance isn't helping much right now.

Please tell me you've been there, done that and that it gets better.


- The Big Blue Momma